


Time is Relative

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: AU, F/M, Mentions of Rape, aftermath of rape, no graphic descriptions, support line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:39:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: Rose Tyler is an art student on a gymnastics scholarship. Reeling from the aftermath of a frat party gone wrong, she goes home for a semester to recover. She takes her school counselor's advice to reach out to an anonymous chat line. She expects the stereotypical support line chatting, but she is met with a surprise.





	1. Chapter 1

Rose sighed, dropping her suitcase on the old pink comforter she had slept under for so many years. It felt good to be home, but the circumstances under which she was back were not exactly the best. She opened the black and white polka dotted case to pull out her clothes. Sitting on top was the pamphlet Counselor Sarah Jane Smith had given her. Paper clipped to the front was the note she had written her. Feeling just a bit more secure in the safety of her mum's flat, she finally read the note.

**Dear Rose,**

**This pamphlet is a requirement to hand out to all students who come forward with the issue you did. Inside is a list of helpful resources for you too look into if you desire. I know, however, that young adults like yourself find anonymity a bit more comforting while seeking closure. So, I would like you to check out a chatting app called Time is Relative. It is available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. The individual who runs it is a great listener.**

**I hope this gap semester helps you heal with everything that has happened to you, Rose. You are a bright and wonderful young woman. I look forward to seeing your smiling face on campus next semester. Call me anytime, day or night.**

**Sarah Jane Smith  
Campus Counselor**

Rose felt the broken emptiness begin to settle inside her chest again. With a sob, she shoved her suitcase to the floor. She curled up on the bed, buried her face in the pillow, and screamed. She screamed until her throat was raw, and her eyes were swollen. Exhaustion engulfed her, despite being only three in the afternoon, and she covered her face with her pillow and slept.

When she woke, it was dark out. The harsh light of the streets bit through her sheer curtains. She held still, holding her breath, as her mother cracked open her door for a moment, then closed it again.

Rose rolled onto her back and picked up her new mobile. The smart phone was an upgrade from her old minute card phone she had carried for years. It had been a birthday gift combined with a 'we'll miss you while you're gone' gift from her dorm mates Amy and Martha. She pressed the home button, letting the lock screen blaze to life. It was two thirty in the morning.

She contemplated dragging herself out onto the fire escape and to the roof, but the thought of being alone up there was too much to handle. She needed to talk to someone, anyone, not about what happened, just talk. She needed a conversation without pitying eyes or hushed gestures. Rose let her eyes wander to the piece of paper on the floor bearing Counselor Smith's signature. Feeling stupid and desperate, she opened the app store and clicked download.

The app opened, explaining that all conversations were kept anonymous. There would be no linking to social media, no option to upload photos, and no asking for a number. All it took was a user name creation and a verification code to an email. She clicked the start new conversation button and chewed her lip. What should she say? What could she type that didn't say "I'm afraid of the monster in the dark"? Her fingers drifted over the smooth glass of her screen, and the muted clicks of her thumbs were like lies in the wind.

HowlingLight17: Knock Knock.

She waited for a moment, then the screen informed her someone was typing. It was probably just an automated response saying someone would be with her in a moment.

PinstripeSpecs10: Who's there?

Rose blinked in shock and clicked her phone screen to darkness. Somebody was there. Somebody was real, sitting somewhere with their phone, waiting for her to continue. She swallowed and opened the app again.

HowlingLight17: Banana  
PinstripeSpecs10: Banana who?

Rose breathed. Whoever he or she was, they were quick to respond. She obviously had their full attention. They didn't know who she was or what she wanted. They just knew she needed someone.

HowlingLight17: Knock Knock  
PinstripeSpecs10: Who's there?  
HowlingLight17: Banana  
PinstripeSpecs10: Banana who?

Rose felt her lips twitch just a bit. So her face did remember how to smile.

HowlingLight17: Knock Knock  
PinstripeSpecs10: Who's there?  
HowlingLight17: Banana  
PinstripeSpecs10: Banana who?

She touched the cool glass to her lips. Whoever this individual was, they were patient. They were there. A faceless person waiting for her to continue.

HowlingLight17: Knock Knock  
PinstripeSpecs10: Who's there?  
HowlingLight17: Orange  
PinstripeSpecs10: Orange who?  
HowlingLight17: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Rose paused, watching the person type. The little chat bubble swirled as she waited.

PinstripeSpecs10: Yes, even though they are my favorite fruit. :-)

Rose exhaled softly in amusement. She tapped the phone against her lips again. She was at a loss for what to say now. How did she continue? Her thumbs tapped clicks into the shadows

HowlingLight17: I'll let you get back to your evening. I didn't mean to bother you.  
PinstripeSpecs10: You aren't a bother. That's what the app is for.  
HowlingLight17: I'm sure you have other people wanting to chat. I don't want to waste your time.

Rose flipped off her phone. The burst of courage she had felt was gone. Her phone dinged from her chest.

PinstripeSpecs10: You're my first person. The app just launched yesterday.

Rose sighed, rolling over onto her side, staring at the swirling typing indicator.

PinstripeSpecs10: Also, you aren't wasting my time. You can't waste something that doesn't actually exist.

Rose snorted into her pillow and typed a response.

HowlingLight17: What do you mean time doesn't exist?  
PinstripeSpecs10: Time is a manmade construal of existence. It isn't a set structure. What seems like a blink to us is a lifetime for a butterfly.

Rose raised her eyebrow at the screen. Whoever this nameless face was, they were philosophical. She could handle this conversation, a drabble of meaningless nonsense in the storm of her life.

HowlingLight17: Time is relative huh?  
PinstripeSpecs10: Exactly. So, like I said before, you can't waste my time if I don't believe it exists.  
HowlingLight17: What if I believe it exists? Am I wrong?

She almost deleted the last part, but her thumb hit send before she could. She felt embarrassment flood her cheeks for some reason.

PinstripeSpecs10: My theories do not negate the importance of your beliefs.

The message was followed by the indication of typing. Rose hesitated over her screen as it blinked into the box.

PinstripeSpecs10: You aren't wasting anyone's time, not even your own.

Rose shoved her phone under her pillow. They knew she was in a bad place. Of course they knew. Why else would she be reaching out so late, when most people were snuggled warm and content into dreams. She couldn't take it anymore. She dragged herself out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and her uni hoodie. With an afterthought, she snagged her phone and pocketed it. Then she let herself out into the cool, damp night.

Her trainers thudded quietly on the wet sidewalk. She didn't know where she was going. All she knew is she couldn't be locked behind a door anymore. The confinement was more terrifying than what could be waiting in the shadows. The shop windows were dark as she passed by them. She would have looked up to catch her reflection in the glass, but that was before it had happened. Now she couldn't even bring herself to look in the bathroom mirror. She didn't have to look to know what would be staring back: a fading bruise, a peeling scab, all the evidence of what a damaged bundle she was.

A light drew her feet forward, through the propped open door of a coffee shop. The sign overhead registered faintly in her mind as Platform One. It was mostly empty, save for some rumpled looking students and a couple in a booth. In the back was a man buried behind a large book. He also had a large tablet propped up. She didn't really focus on his features.

Rose shuffled over to a small booth where she should see the door and settled in. When the waitress came and took her order, all she asked for was a tea and a small muffin. Her phone seemed to weigh heavy in her pocket, and she wondered if her messaging partner was still awake. She pulled it out, surprised to find it nearing four in the morning. She gave a weak but polite smile to the tired looking woman who delivered her tea, and then stared at the phone. She stirred in her sugar before picking it up.

HowlingLight17: Still awake Pinstripe?

She sat her phone back down on the table and picked at a blueberry in her muffin. She knew she should eat, but her stomach felt like a compressed ball of rocks. Her phone dinged quietly from the cold tabletop. Rose tapped the screen and blinked at the response.

PinstripeSpecs10: Are you?

Rose huffed out an puff of amusement and didn't notice her fingers popping a bit of muffin in her mouth. She chewed absentmindedly as she contemplated what to say.

HowlingLight17: I wish I wasn't.

She groaned softly to herself as soon as she hit send. She should delete the app now and save herself and the other person further discomfort. Her phone binged in her hand.

PinstripeSpecs10: What are you up to besides messaging me?

They had completely ignored her comment. That was a first. Usually saying things like that made people pour out unneeded or unwarranted advice on her life and how important she was. They didn't understand, couldn't understand how filthy she felt on the inside. This person changed the subject, offering her something new.

HowlingWolf17: Staring at a cup of tea and dissecting a blueberry muffin.  
PinstripeSpecs10: How can you dissect a muffin if you are looking at the tea?

Rose chuckled. So this person was a bit cheeky. She liked it. It was a challenge compared to the doting attentions her friends and mum had been lavishing her with.

HowlingLight17: very very badly :-P  
PinstripeSpecs10: I imagine so. I'm reading and intaking more caffeine than should be legal.  
HowlingLight17: What could you be reading at four in the morning?

She snickered, this person obviously had to be a woman. No bloke would be up this late or early reading.

PinstripeSpecs10: A book on physics.

Rose snorted and sipped her tea. This was going to be interesting.

HowlingLight17: So you're studying then?  
Pinstripes10: Nope, just reading.

Rose stared down at her phone in surprise. What could she possibly say to someone who read science books for fun. She was an artist and a gymnast. Science was interesting, but not enough to read at four in the morning.

HowlingLight17: Am I disturbing you? I can let you go.  
PinstripeSpecs10: I already told you, you aren't bothering me or anything. You're actually helping me with an experiment.

Rose felt her curiosity pique. An experiment could be interesting.

HowlingLight17: What kind of experiment?

She waited, expecting some long drawn out scientific babble. Her phone dinged again.

PinstripeSpecs: How long a person can go without sleep before caffeine causes them to hallucinate.

Rose let out her first laugh in over two weeks. The sound was strange in her ears, and the dwindling crowd of patrons looked at her oddly, except the man with the book. He was now hiding behind his tablet.

HowlingLight17: How many hours are you at now?  
PinstripeSpecs10: 22.5 :-D so far no hallucinations.

The alarm on Rose's phone blared out, and she silenced it. It was time for her to start heading back before her mum would be up for work. She dropped the money on the table for her tea and muffin, then headed for the door. She looked down at her phone as she typed.

HowlingLight17: Well I have to head to bed, let me know how the experiment goes.

She oofed as she collided with the man. He had been standing and packing his things into a large bag. He steadied her, and Rose jerked away reflexively. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She stuttered staring down at the floor.

"No harm done." The man chuckled. "Be safe heading home."

Rose nodded and hurried from the shop. When she made it back to her room. She looked down at the screen:

PinstripeSpecs10: I will. Sleep tight! :-D

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Rose stood staring at her blurred form in the foggy mirror. Her wet hair hung against her back, sticking from the steam and water. She wanted to wipe the mirror, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she dressed sluggishly, and headed out to the kitchen.

It was late, approaching eight at night now. She had spent the day scrubbing her mum's flat top to bottom, her music blaring in her ears from her Ipod. She couldn't stand the silence of the house when she had awoken at noon. The music had put her into a thoughtless trance, and she focused her anger and pain out on each speck of dirt or hidden pile of dust she had found.

Now freshly clean and sitting silently at the kitchen table, she let her thoughts wander. Her mum tried to start small talk, but gave up as she watched Rose pick at her slice of roast beef. She poured them each a glass of wine, and Rose sipped hers. She didn't taste it, she just felt the slight burn down her throat. Her mother dropped a kiss on her hair, and let her know she was off to babysit her coworkers newborn baby. She would come home immediately if Rose needed her to.

Rose watched her leave. Now without music or something to do, the small flat seemed even smaller. It also gaped around her like a malicious cavern. She couldn't be alone. When she was alone she could see him, hear him, feel him. Her arms remembered the heavy sensation, unable to move or struggle. Rose shoved back from the table and dashed to her room. She snagged her mobile off the charger and flicked it to life. There was her faceless companion. The message had been sent four hours prior.

PinstripeSpecs10: so I made it to 30 hours before I fell asleep. Experiment failed :-(

Rose breathed out, the room still felt dark and small, but she had her dim light now. She flopped onto the floor beside her bed and replied.

HowlingLight17: well that blows! Sorry your experiment wasn't a success.  
PinstripeSpecs10: ahhh that's alright. I'll try again next week. What did you do today?

She raised an eyebrow at the screen. Another totally new response, one her brain hadn't predicted. They didn't ask how her day was. They asked what she did.

HowlingLight17: I just cleaned the flat a bit. Nothing important or earth shattering. :-/

The response was swift and hit her in the chest.

PinstripeSpecs10: Everything someone does is important. Even the smallest decisions can leave an impact on the world.

Small decisions, like looking down to dig a lighter out of a purse at a party.

Howlinglight17: believe me, Pinstripe, I know that. Thanks for the chat, but I think I should delete this app.

Rose closed the message and prepared to delete the app when a message flashed on the screen.

PinstripeSpecs10: WAIT!

Rose almost dropped the phone. She could practically hear the panicked shout in her head. She swallowed as the next message came onto the screen.

PinstripeSpecs10: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad or worse or to blame for anything. Please don't go.   
PinstripeSpecs10: Please, Light, are you still there?

Rose felt tears pool behind her eyes. She tossed her head back, banging it on the forgiving edge of the bed repeatedly. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't. The tears broke free anyways. So wiped them angrily from her face, sobbing aloud at the tenderness of her cheek. She grabbed her running shoes. She need to run and run fast. She needed to get out of the suffocating room.

She jammed her headphones into her ears, dashed down the stairs outside, and onto the sidewalk. She didn't pay attention to where she went. Her feet knew these neighborhoods like a living GPS. Even in the dark of the early night, she could find her way back. She listened to the lyrics in her ears, not processing the words. She just let the tempo of the beat set the pace of her stride. If she could run fast enough, maybe she could forget. Maybe she could leave the memories abandoned in a gutter. She just had to run faster.

That same light drew her in. She only had few seconds until the crosswalk signal changed. Rose dug deep in her gut and sprinted across the street. She jerked to dodge a stray cat that shot out of the tiny alley she passed, and crashed into someone.   
They sprawled to the sidewalk with a cry, and a large bag jammed into her stomach.

"We have to stop meeting like this." The person groaned. It was the man from last night. He struggled to his feet then held a hand out to her.

Rose stared at the thin but masculine fingers, and jerked away from him. She pushed herself to her feet and bent to pick up his bag. She didn't look at his face, keeping her head down to hide the tears and evidence. "Sorry, I should have been paying attention to where I'm going." She handed him his bag and pushed past him into the shop.

"Not a problem." She heard him call faintly after her. She hurried to the same booth as before, and ordered tea and a cup of fresh fruit. Praying her fall hadn't shattered her phone, she dug it from her hoodie pocket. It was still intact.

Rose heaved a deep breath and opened the app.

HowlingLight17: I'm still here. Sorry I didn't respond sooner

The phone stayed blank, no response no pending messages. The waitress brought Rose her order, and she sat there staring at the blank screen. A couple texts from Amy and Martha were waiting for responses, but she couldn't deal with them right now. She loved them to death, but they didn't understand. They were trying, but Rose couldn't bring herself to tell them that their tiptoe approach was not helping.

"You're hurt." The man was a few feet away, and his voice was soft. Rose jumped in her seat and covered her eyes with her hand.

"No, I'm fine." She sniffled. "It's nothing." That was a lie, a total lie. It was everything. It was her whole life. Every waking moment was spent running from it. Every sleeping moment was reliving it or hoping to not relive it.

"But your shin is bleeding." The man wasn't moving away, his narrow fingers were gesturing at her leg.

Rose scooted her leg around the booth bench and looked down. Her jogging pants had ripped, and a palm sized scrape run up the front of her shin. She hadn't even noticed before, all caught up in the need to get away. Now it began to sting badly. Rose winced and reached down to touch the scrape, to staunch the thin rivulets of blood that were leaking out.

The man hurried away for a moment, and then returned. "I have a first aid kit. Please, let me." He knelt to the floor, reaching slowly for her leg.

"Don't touch me!" Rose yelped, scrambling further back into her booth. She finally looked at the man. Her reaction had been totally reflexive. He wasn't a threat, she knew that. He just wanted to help.

She leaned against the cool glass of the window, staring at him. He was still kneeling. His outstretched hand had fallen to one knee. His other was resting on the first aid kit.

He was handsome, in a bookish way, with his rolled up blue Oxford sleeves and brown pinstripe trousers. His tie was loosened, and his too button was undone. He wore a pair of specs over his warm brown eyes. The man smiled at her, patient understanding on his face. "My turn to apologize." He murmured, almost like trying to calm a skittish foal. "Listen, I'll just leave this kit here. When you're done, I'll come get it." He placed the kit on the table, backed away a few steps, then retreated to his hulking book and tablet.

Rose watched him go. Something buried deep in her brain acknowledged that had this been before, she'd have happily taken his help. Now, she couldn't. Her body was too scarred to let someone touch her, even to help. She opened the kit and went to work cleaning the scrapes. Then she spread on some ointment and covered it with a bandage. Another bruise, more damage, Rose fought back more tears.

Her phone binged just as she was closing the kit up. She looked down at the screen.

PinstripeSpecs10: Sorry, I was helping someone. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry if I upset you earlier. I don't know what brought you to my app, but I hope you won't run away.

Rose wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She should tell her newfound chat partner, after all, that's what the app was for. She chewed the inside of her cheek and huffed a sigh. Maybe if she could type it, she could eventually say it out loud. She hadn't even said the word to the police. Amy and Martha had just driven her to the hospital when they found her. They didn't even hear her say it.

Rose grabbed her tea and sipped to warm her chilled and trembling body. Finally, she summoned the courage.

HowlingLight17: I know you didn't mean to upset me.   
HowlingLight17: I was raped, all because of the smallest decisions I made.

She sat her phone down, screen down onto the table. She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her hand on the first aid kit, and limped over to the book man. He was reading something on his tablet, and a look of devastation crossed his face. He covered his mouth with a hand and sighed into it.

"Excuse me." Rose whispered hesitantly.

His head jerked up and he wiped tears in the corner of his eyes. "Oh, hello." He sniffed.

"Here's your kit." She murmured handing it to him without meeting his eyes. As soon as she felt it in his hands, she wheeled around and hurried back to her table.

Rose stared at her phone. She didn't know what she expected to her blunt outburst, but it wasn't what came through.

PinstripeSpecs10: it wasn't any decision you made. It was the sick bastard's choice.

Rose gulped, pressing the phone into her lap. Everyone so far had made such cruel, even if unintentionally, remarks. Why didn't she had a friend nearby? Why did she wear that skirt? Why did she look away from her drink? Why didn't she try to fight? Even Martha and Amy had made such comments unintentionally. They didn't mean to accuse her, but they did. She wouldn't have even had the courage to report it, if she hadn't woken up in the emergency room with a cop speaking to Martha. They had accused her too, with their eyes.

HowlingLight17: That's not how it feels. It's not how people feel about it.

Rose jerked as an irritated noise came from the man across the room. She watched as he typed on his tablet. Rose wondered what had him looking almost as distraught as she felt. He laid his tablet down, and her phone pinged in her hand.

PinstripeSpecs10: Anybody who blames you is a bloody idiot. I don't mean to sound so unprofessional, but it's true. Please tell me you filed a police report.

Rose's fingers flew across the screen. The one security she had motivated her. The blood work at the hospital had indicated ketamine, and the DNA sample had been sufficient for examination. Her mother had blown into the police headquarters blowing up a fit until they had agreed to get a warrant for the DNA collection at the frat house.

Jimmy Stone had been a match. He was there on a music scholarship, and Rose had been flirting with him all night. He had asked her for a light, and while Rose didn't smoke, she kept a lighter on hand for emergencies. He had drugged her drink as she searched her purse.

HowlingLight17: I did, he's in jail awaiting arraignment.

She finally turned to her bowl of fruit, picking at it until she found a bit of banana. She smiled in spite of herself and popped it onto her tongue. Her eyes found the man again. He was setting down his tablet. Her phone binged.

PinstripeSpecs10: listen, I know the app is meant for anonymity, but if you ever want to talk face to face about anything, ever come find me. I'm at the coffee shop Platform One every night from 10-4.

Rose made a choking noise and gazed around the room. She tried to figure out who it could possibly be. It was mildly crowded tonight, and almost everybody was on their phones or tablets. Rose's hands shook as she typed.

HowlingLight17: Are you there now?

She looked around the room again.

PinstripeSpecs10: yes, would you like to meet? It's quite crowded tonight, you don't even have to tell me your name. We can just talk.

Rose pressed her phone to her chin, shaking all over. Should she tell this person she was there? Should she make that connection? She wanted to. She wanted to reach out to this face in the shadows, the one who had not judged her.

HowlingLight17: I've been sitting here for the last thirty minutes.

She looked around again. Waiting for someone to look up, to look around. Her eyes scanned the crowd, eager and afraid. Then a pair of warm eyes behind a pair of glasses locked onto hers. The man was holding his tablet in both hands, he slowly typed on the screen.

PinstripeSpecs10: Are you the blonde who enjoys crashing into me as her nightly hobby?

Rose swallowed and replied, looking back up at the man.

HowlingLight17: Yes.

She watched as he broke eye contact with her to look down at his tablet.

PinstripeSpecs10: May I join you at your booth.

Rose looked up at the man's hesitant face, and nodded once.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose looked down, fidgeting nervously as the man gathered his things up and made his way to her table. He laid his book down, and propped his tablet up with the stand on the case. Then he walked away and returned with his bowl of fruit and cup of coffee. Rose didn't look up as he slid into the seat across from her.

He didn't speak either. He just sat, sipping his coffee and typing one handed on the tablet screen. Every so often he'd make a humming noise and and draw a circle or tap the screen. His presence wasn't demanding, although at first, it was nerve wracking. Occasionally he'd flip open his book, put his finger on the page, then return to typing.

Rose peeked over the edge of the book, but the pages made no sense to her. She recalled back to their messages and remembered he was into physics and other such sciency topics. She picked up a piece of honeydew melon and popped it into her mouth. She slid her phone into her lap and let her fingers tap the screen.

HowlingLight17: what are you working on?

She laid her phone on her lap and took a sip of her now cooling tea. Her phone pinged under her left hand

PinstripeSpecs10: I'm proof reading a thesis paper for someone's Doctorate program. How's your tea?

Rose set her cup back down and looked down at her screen.

HowlingLight17: That's cool. My tea is okay, just a bit cold now.

She looked up at him. He was studiously reading his screen.

HowlingLight17: I'll brb.   
PinstripeSpecs10: Take your time.

Rose downed the last mouthful of tea and made her way to the bathroom. She averted her eyes from the mirror, and slipped into a stall. She flushed and washed her hands, still avoiding the mirror.

When she returned, the waitress was handing the man back a credit card,and she was setting a fresh cup of tea and coffee on the table.

Rose took her seat and looked at the cup of tea placed in front of her. She dug into her pocket for her wallet, but the waitress stopped her. "Already paid for love. You two enjoy."

Rose felt her face flush and picked up the spoon on her saucer. She began to stir the tea slowly with one hand while typing with the other.

HowlingLight17: Thank you, but you didn't have to.   
PinstripeSpecs10: I imposed on your evening, it was only proper.

She couldn't think of a response, so she put her phone down on her lap and sipped her tea. She kept her face hidden behind the curtain of hair that fell forward. He kept to his undemanding silence, as Rose watched him from under her eyelashes. She studied him, wondering what he must think of her.

She knew she looked a mess. She hadn't even attempted to wear anything besides baggy workout clothes since the night it happened. She hadn't put on makeup or painted her nails either. She couldn't muster the effort. She had this unbidden urge to look as frumpy and unappealing as possible.

The man had a kind face, Rose had to admit. What she had taken as a bookish look before, she now was able to see was that of a professor. He had this sort of quizzical look in his eyes as he read, and it crinkled a barely noticeable pair of crowsfeet as he squinted at the screen. His lips turned down a fraction as he flipped pages in the book to his left. Then they turned up into a quirky smile as his finger found a sentence on the page.

Despite these small nuances, Rose still felt her body stuck in flight or fight mode. She couldn't help it. He raised his hand up, reaching across the table, and She felt her heart rate shoot up. She shoved herself back into her seat as his fingers paused over the packets of sugars. His eyes flicked up to hers for just a moment, then he retracted his hand to his mug, without a sugar.

It took her a moment to relax. When her hands unclenched, Rose picked up a couple of sugar packets and placed them on his book. Then she yanked her hand back to her lap. Her phone binged under her hand.

PinstripeSpecs10: I didn't mean to startle you, again. Thanks for the sugar.

Rose chewed her lip for a moment before mumbling out loud. "You're welcome."

The man's eyes flicked up to look at her, and he smiled softly. "That sounds more like the whisper of the wind than a howl." His voice was just as low as hers.

Rose jerked her eyes back down to her tea. She ran a finger along the side of the cup. Her thumb typed without looking.

HowlingLight17: The howling is inside.

She waited for him to speak again. He didn't say a word. He didn't even look at her. He was offering her something she hadn't even known she was dying on the inside for, quiet unassuming companionship. Her phone dinged again.

PinstripeSpecs10: I can't even begin to fathom how loud it must be.

Rose blinked at the screen. It was odd, to have him so close and yet not saying a word. She wasn't ready to fully open up yet. Her mind and body were in need of a distraction. She wanted him to talk, yet she couldn't find the confidence to open her mouth again.

The murmur of the other patrons was deafening in its buzz. Her mind was terrifyingly blank. Her head spun and she looked down at the phone in her lap. Stars danced across her vision and she felt her shoulders heaving a quick tempo. A message lit up her screen.

PinstripeSpecs10: breathe in through your nose

Rose struggled to follow his instructions, but her chest was tight. The phone dinged again.

PinstripeSpecs10: and breathe out from your mouth

She let out a gasp of air, then inhaled sharply again through her nostrils.

PinstripeSpecs10: slower.... slower.... count to three each time

Rose squeezed her eyes shut, and forced her body to comply. It took three or four tries until she was able to watch the table come into focus. She looked up at him through her hair just in time to see his eyes dart back to his work. She ghosted her thumbs over her phone

HowlingLight17: thank you, I don't know what came over me.

His response was almost immediate, like he had already typed it and was waiting to hit send.

PinstripeSpecs10: Panic attacks can be nasty. It's a perfectly natural response. Now drink your tea and focus on your breathing.

Rose lifted her cup to her lips obediently. In between sips, she focused on her inhalations and exhalations. Soon her body had relaxed enough to stop trembling. She finally managed to find her voice. "I should probably head home." She whispered. Then she dug into her pocket and pulled out the money for her tea and slid it across the table until it rested near his book.

"I told you, I had it covered." He murmured just as softly, his eyes darting between her face and the money.

"I don't like to feel obligated to men." Rose hissed before she could stop herself. She slapped her hand over her mouth and dashed from the shop. She didn't stop running until she was panting in the tiny hall inside her flat.

Her mum was standing by the sink, sipping a glass of water. "Rose, sweetheart, why are you panting so hard. Did something happen?" Regret flashed across her face as soon as she said it.

"Just went for a run." Rose gasped. "I'm gonna go shower, yeah."

Jackie nodded and watched her mournfully as she stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, Rose turned the shower on as hot as she could stand. She stripped down and stepped into the scalding downpour. She grabbed the loofa and soap and began scrubbing herself. She ran the puff over her scraped shin and let out a sob as the bandage pulled at the hairs. She ripped it off, tears mingling with the water, and scrubbed away the dry blood forcefully. Watching the faint pink colored water trail down her leg, she sank to the bottom of the tub and sobbed until the water ran cold.

After she toweled off and slipped into a baggy pair of sweat pants and an old sleep shirt, she stood in front of the mirror. With a defiant growl she wiped the surface free of fog and stared at her body. She couldn't look at her face. Her eyes caught something in the reflection behind her, a pair of sharp scissors her mum used to trim the neighbor's hair when they asked.

Rose grabbed the scissors and stared at them. She needed something to be different, to not look like that night. Feeling a sudden spurt of purpose, she dug a hair tie from a drawer and brushed her mid back length hair up into a high ponytail. Then with a sob, she reached the scissors back and cut it a few inches before the elastic band. She felt the bunch of hair fall to the floor. She pulled the band out, and brushed the newly shortened hair into place. She took the deep breaths like her patient friend had instructed and then looked in the mirror.

Rose gasped at the difference. Her eye and lip had nearly healed, but the shorter locks drew the attention away from them. It was still her, but the contrast was enough to keep her from tearing her eyes away. She gathered up the hair from the floor and tossed it in the bin. Feeling a little less despondent, she headed back to her room. She opened her messages and saw one waiting.

PinstripeSpecs10: I hope you made it home safe.

That was it? No "lovely to meet you"? No comments on the awkwardness of the whole situation? Just an I hope for safety. Rose keyed her response in.

HowlingLight17: I did, heading to bed now. Goodnight.

It was only a few minutes after one, but Rose was emotionally drained and exhausted. She curled up on her bed, tucked her phone to her chest and closed her eyes. She hoped the thought of having someone who was on the outside would help keep her nightmares at bay, but they didn't. She tossed and turned all night, and couldn't find a dreamless sleep until just before sunrise.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Rose finally managed to pull herself out of bed around two, and after a small breakfast or lunch, she wandered down to the hair salon where her mum worked. Jackie was just sweeping up after a customer when she saw Rose in the mirror. Her eyes were wide as she took her her daughter's appearance.

"Let me clean up the edges, in the chair you get." Her mum's coworker Bev spoke up before Jackie could. Rose slipped silently in the seat while she went to work evening out the edges.

Her phone vibrated in her hand. She looked down, expecting to see a message from her chat partner, but it was Martha instead. It was a picture message of a pink and gold bedding set.

Martha: We got moved to one of the bigger rooms, and we're redecorating. How would you like this for next term?

Rose sighed. She wasn't even sure if she was going back next term. She didn't want to let her friends feel uncomfortable.

Rose: sure, it's cute. I'll wire you the money.  
Martha: my treat!

She groaned inwardly. Rose wished everyone would stop trying to spend money on her. When Bev tried to wave the money She handed to her, Rose shoved it into her hand and dashed out the door without meeting her mum's eyes. She pulled out her phone and started her walk back to the flat.

HowlingLight17: I'm sorry I was cross with you last night before I left.

There was no immediate response, and Rose found that this made her feel even worse. Maybe she had insulted her companion. Rose hoped not, and she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the quiet way he had simply been there. He hadn't tried to be overly kind or force her into talking. He simply was there. She climbed the stairs to her mum's flat. The lawyer her mum had hired was knocking on their door.

"Sorry I was out." Rose said walking up. "What's going on Harriet?"

The lawyer pulled a list of her briefcase. "The trial date has been set. It's in two weeks." The older woman sighed. "They are demanding you testify."

Rose looked down at the list she had been handed. It contained some names she recognized from school, and she realized they had all been at the party. "No! You said the DNA evidence along with the ketamine in my system would be enough! You promised!" She was half shouting as the paper crinkled in her hands. She yanked open the flat door and slammed it in the woman's face.

"Rose, listen." Harriet was still outside the door. "The judge is a woman. I've known her for a while. She will not let him get away with this! Call me."

Rose slammed her fist against the wall. She couldn't do it. She couldn't look him in the eye. She'd seen enough growing up to know exactly what would happen. The defense lawyers were going to rip her to shreds. They would dig apart every single aspect of her social life, try to pin it on her. They would make her out to be some cockteasing chav who got what she was begging for. It wasn't fair.

As if on cue, her phone pinged.

PinstripeSpecs10: feel free to be cross with me anytime. Sorry it took so long to respond, I was filming a lecture.

A distraction, just what she needed. A subject to draw her mind away from the infuriating fear clenching her stomach and chest. Through tears Rose replied.

HowlingLight17: So you're a professor? Where do you teach?

Rose's phone flashed the low battery warning. She hadn't charged it before she fell asleep. She made her way to her room and threw herself on the bed and plugged in her phone.

PinstripeSpecs10: I'm not a professor exactly. I used to be. Now I film and record lecture videos for online classes around the world.   
PinstripeSpecs10: it's rather boring actually. What are you up to today?

Rose raised her eyebrow and sniffled back her tears. His job sounded interesting not boring. She wanted to know more. Ignoring his question, she messaged him back.

HowlingLight17: What sorta classes do you film for?   
PinstripeSpecs10: Mostly science and math, but I also enjoy doing literature and art lessons as well.

Rose snuggled her pillow under her head as she replied. Art she could discuss easily. It was her passion

HowlingLight17: I'm an art major. What's your favorite period?  
PinstripeSpecs10: this probably sounds entirely cliche, but baroque. I love the changes it brought with ornamentation and lighter colors.

Rose chewed her lip as she stared at the screen. Baroque was her favorite as well, even though her own forte was modernistic styles.

HowlingLight17: that's my favorite era as well.   
PinstripeSpecs10: Well we have something in common. I need to get to recording this next lecture. Will you be free to chat in a bit?

Rose sighed into her pillow. She didn't want him to go. Even though she had met him face to face, she needed these messages. They gave her something to distract her mind. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

HowlingLight17: I probably will be.

She still had four hours until her mum was home. The flat was closing in around her again. She didn't have anything to clean, nowhere to go. Rose's eyes found the bottle of sleeping pills her doctor had given her, just in case. His message came through right as she swallowed one and put the cap on the bottle.

PinstripeSpecs10: give me 2 hours and I'll be free to chat as long as you need. I promise.

Rose buried her face in the pillow, waiting for the drowsiness to hit. She tried to think of something, anything that could keep the dread at bay. She focused on her last art project, tucked away unfinished in the unopened box in her closet. She let her mind sort through the colors and textures she needed to finish the painting until everything went dark.

When she awoke, the sky was dark and her room was illuminated by the street lamps outside. She rubbed her face groggily, and sat up. Her phone was tucked half hazardously under the pillow. Rose's mind was deliciously fuzzy and blank as she looked around the room. When her eyes found the list on the floor, everything came crashing back down. She felt the anxiety kick in and she snatched up her phone.

PinstripeSpecs10: all finished. What are you up to?

That was it. A single message from him exactly two hours after his last. She had a couple missed calls from Amy and Martha and a couple of texts asking when she wanted to see them again. She wasn't ready to see them. The normalcy of their life was like a taunt to the destruction of her own. It was approaching nine-thirty now.

Rose shuffled slowly into the kitchen where Jackie was cleaning up from dinner. "I made some pasta." Her mum said, opening the microwave to pull out a bowl.

"Thanks mum." She sighed. She could feel her mother's watchful gaze as she grabbed a fork and leaned against the counter. She tried to eat, but her stomach churned.

"Oh Rose, you have to eat." Jackie sighed wiping off the sink. "You're waisting away."

"Don't tell me what to do, Mum." Rose cried, shoving her hardly touched bowl to the counter. "Just don't."

Jackie called after her as she dashed back to her room to change. She grabbed her phone. She needed something, and she couldn't figure out exactly what. Rose was still feeling sluggish as she tied her shoes and grabbed her wallet. Jackie was in the hallway carrying some tea on a tray when She dashed past her out the door.

Her racing feet were on autopilot now, as the rain drizzled around her. Her lungs gasped for relief as she sped blindly down the sidewalk. It took her five blaring rock songs in her ears before she saw the open door ahead. She slowed her pace and walked into the door. He was at his usual table, a new book opened. His eyes lifted up for just a moment, taking in her haggard breathless appearance. Then he looked back down to the tablet. Rose registered her feet moving towards his table, and they caught his foot move under it to push out the chair across from him.

She sank into the cushion and as if on cue, the waitress appeared with her favorite cup of tea, a glass of water, and a muffin sitting next to a bowl of fruit. Rose dug in her wallet and passed the woman the money. She smiled and hurried away.

Rose dug her phone out.

HowlingLight17: you're here early

She heard him chuckled from across the table. Her phone dinged.

PinstripeSpecs10: traffic wasn't as bad as usual.

For the first time Rose regretted the short hair. She couldn't hide her face behind it. Her phone dinged again.

PinstripeSpecs10: hope your jog was refreshing.

Rose couldn't think of what to say. So she began picking at her fruit. The silence between them wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, as it had been for a bit last night. It wasn't relaxed, because she couldn't relax. The crowd murmured around them. The longer she sat, the more her stomach eased it's stone clench. For the first time in days she was hungry. She picked up a fork and began to eat with a purpose. The fruit was finished in a few minutes. Then the muffin was half gone in just a few minutes more.

The man didn't say anything about her voracious assault on the meager meal. He simply looked up at her a few times, not exactly smiling, but not frowning. Just patient and calm. Finally Rose picked up her tea and leaned back in her chair.

She heard a soft thump on the table, and looked up from her lap. A small book was being slid across the table. As soon as it was next to her bowl, his hand retracted. Rose looked down at the book. It was a book on the early stages of baroque art, and had excerpts from journals of the artists.

She tried to slide it back, but her phone dinged in her lap.

PinstripeSpecs10: I thought you might like something to read while we sit in silence. I'll need it back for a lesson plan I have to draw up tomorrow.

Rose pulled the book to her and opened it up silently. On the very first page was a simple inscription:  
Property of Doctor John Smith  
Intercontinental Online Institute of Higher Learning  
Curriculum Creation and Evaluation Department

So her friendly face had a name. It was a simple name, but it suited him. She looked up at him, turning to the first page. Then she cleared her throat. "John." She didn't whisper or murmur under her breath, but it was still quiet.

John looked up startled. "How did you know?" His eyes flickered down to the book and understanding registered in his eyes.

"Thank you." She gave him the smallest of smiles and then began reading.

"You're welcome." He replied. "It's nice to see you smile." That was it. They fell into their silence, only now it was entirely comfortable and companionable. Rose realized she hadn't told him her name, but he hadn't asked either. With a jolt of surprise, Rose realized that she felt just a smidgeon of happiness settle into her chest. It was a start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains non detailed descriptions of rape.

It became a routine. Rose would sleep in until noon or one. Then she'd text or call her mum to let her know she was okay. Jackie was still giving her space to work through it. The day would be spent cleaning or reading. She would message back in forth with John, who still didn't know her name. Then, when nine fifteen rolled around, she'd plug in her headphones and jog to Platform One. Her mum asked where she went every night, and it wasn't technically a lie when Rose told her a doctor. Jackie just assumed it was a therapist or a late night support group.

Each night John preordered her tea and food, but never paid. When she finished eating, he'd slide her a book. She would read, and he would work. At four am sharp, they would pack up and part ways with hushed goodbyes. Sometimes they'd speak a handful of words about the paper he was working on, and other times they'd discuss something she had found in the books he gave her. He never pressed her to talk about anything, even though Rose could see the questions swirling in his eyes. The conversations were always brief.

On the eighth night, Rose stood in front of her mirror. Her hand rested on the makeup bag she had dug out of her closet. She had gone shopping earlier in the day for a simple dress to wear to the hearing on Tuesday morning. It hung forebodingly on the back of her door. She studiously ignored it as she ghosted on the lightest of coats of mascara and just a tiny bit of clear gloss. It was a big step, and she almost wiped it off immediately. Instead she forced herself away to grab her phone.

Her body was growing accustomed to this nightly run, and her feet carried her there without aching now. She found him as soon as she stepped in, and like clockwork the waitress was heading their way. Rose thanked the waitress and paid, but before she took her first bite of fruit, she gave him her small smile. "Good evening, Doctor John." Her voice wasn't quiet. It was just as even as the rest of of the crowd. She never greeted him by speaking before.

John's hand froze with his coffee midway to his mouth, and his face broke out into the largest grin she had ever seen on him. "Well Good Evening to you too. How was your jog?"

Rose forced her eyes to stay even with his, as they wanted to retreat to their now well known downward stare. "Bit chilly, but that's fine." She felt her smile slipping, but she forced it to stay in place. "How was your walk?"

"Same as usual." He replied as his coffee finished its journey to his lips. His eyes flicked back to the tablet. He knew the routine: Polite exchange of a single sentence, then silence.

Rose finally let her eyes drift down to her food and her phone. Her hands ached to resume their conversation through texts, but she had made it this far. So, she pushed her phone a few inches away and looked back up. She sweetened her tea and then took a sip. When she set the cup down to reach for her muffin. She pulled a piece off and said "Rose." Then she popped the bite into her mouth.

"Lovely flower." John mused, flicking his eyes up to hers in amusement. "My mother loved yellow roses."

Rose raised her eyebrow. That was downright personal. They never spoke about anything outside of their table. "Well that's an interesting factoid." Rose replied when her mouth was empty. "But I meant that's my name, Rose Tyler."

John choked on his coffee at her words, and some dripped down his chin and neck. She had obviously shocked the poor man. Rose yanked a few napkins from a holder and placed them on his book. She was ready to talk, but she wasn't ready to risk touching yet. "Didn't mean to make you choke."

John set his mug down and picked up the napkin. "That's a lovely name, Rose Tyler. How's your tea?" He mopped up his small mess and respectfully lowered his gaze back to his tablet.

"It's good." She replied. "So's the fruit and muffin. How's the coffee?"

John looked up at her again, slowly this time. He waited for two of her breaths before he closed his tablet case and laid it on his book. He picked up his mug in one hand, and relaxed back into his chair. His eyes were examining her in a way that didn't make her uncomfortable. She knew he would, as she rarely looked at him face on.

"Coffee is delicious." John smiled again. "I've been meaning to tell you, the short hair was a fantastic choice." It wasn't a flirt. Rose would have detected that. His comment was exactly that, just a comment.

"Did it myself." Rose popped a piece of fruit back into her mouth. She chewed, trying to work up the courage to ask him for a favor. She felt stupid, almost pitiful and child like to ask. Normally she would have asked Amy or Martha, but they were already involved.

"John." She nearly lost courage as he lowered his coffee mug.

"Yes Rose?" He smiled, as if this new usage of name exchange amused him in some way.

"CouldIaskyouforafavor?" Rose rushed the sentence out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Sorry." John leaned forward just a bit, his glasses slid forward a bit and he slipped them back up with one finger. "I didn't catch that."

Rose felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment, but she repeated herself slowly. "Could I ask you for a favor?" She looked down at her tea cup, biting her lip nervously.

"Anything." John's voice was kind. "What do you need?"

Rose looked up to find him resting one arm on the table. She swallowed, feeling the fear and anxiety pick up in her chest. He moved his arm to his lap, obviously thinking he had caused the look of fear in her eyes. Rose inhaled and exhaled slowly, bringing her racing heart under control. "Sorry, that wasn't because of." She gestured at the table. Slowly his arm came back up and rested on the shiny surface.

"Take your time, Rose." He said gently. "We have all night."

Rose nodded and took a sip of her tea. She met his eyes, forcing herself not to recoil back. "I have to testify on Tuesday." She tried to keep her voice even and not choke on her words. "The trial begins at eleven am. I was wondering if maybe." She fiddled with a napkin as she tried to get the words out. "I was wondering if you can come."

Suddenly the words just poured out. "I know you barely know me, and this is the longest conversation we've ever had besides messaging. I just need to have a face in the crowd who I know isn't blaming me. I need to have something or someone to look at when I answer the lawyers." She gasped for air, crumbling the napkin in her hand. "Please." She added the last word softly. She couldn't look up, she knew he would say no. It was a stupid request for a man she barely knew.

"Rose, if you can, please look at me." John's ever gentle voice was a request. He always made requests to get her attention. Rose looked up to find him smiling that understanding twitch of a lip. "Of course I'll go. If you want me there, and if you are comfortable with me hearing things about your life, I will be there for you."

Relief rushed through her. "Thank you." She breathed. She was still an emotional mess dreading the stand, but the thought that those brown eyes and kind smile would be in the crowd lessened it just a bit. "I know it's a lot to ask for, with your work and such, but it means so much." She felt tears of fear and thankfulness begin to well up, and he gingerly slid her a napkin.

"This may be a bit too personal to ask." John said, resting his other arm in front of the one on the table. "But has your lawyer been prepping you for the questions? I've been to a trial like this, when I was in college myself. The defense lawyers can be nasty."

Rose nodded, taking the napkin and dabbing her eyes. "Harriet's been great. She said the judge is a woman, and will not let his lawyers be too vicious." She tossed the napkin back down and grabbed the glass of water she had left untouched every night. She took a gulp, and looked up to find him leaning back and scratching his chin. A slight five o'clock shadow was beginning to show.

"Rose." He began then paused. He swallowed once then leaned forward again. "We haven't really talked about what happened to you. I haven't wanted to bring it up. I just want you to know, if you wanted to tell me before Tuesday, I'm willing to listen."

Rose watched his movements. She felt s bit panicked as she looked around the middling sized crowd. Their immediate area was empty. She warred with herself. He was going to hear it anyways, on Tuesday. Wouldn't it be better to come from her now, in their place of comfort?

Rose leaned forward herself, picking at piece of skin on her thumb. "I went to a party." She began. Her throat wanted to close, to bottle it all inside. "I met him there. I had seen him around campus a few times, since the art wing is across from the music wing. We never talked before though. He seemed friendly at first, if a bit handsy. Then again, most college boys are right?" She took a breath. She wanted to stop. She hadn't even gone into details with the police. She simply told them the cut and dry facts.

John didn't speak. He simply looked at her fidgeting fingers. So Rose continued. "We danced a bit, then played some stupid drinking game. Then we went outside so he could smoke. I had my drink sitting on the steps between us, and he asked me for a lighter." Rose tried to keep the images at bay. At first she squeezed her eyes shut, but that made it worse. So she stared at John's hands instead. "I looked down to dig in my purse. I don't smoke, but I had one. We chatted for a bit. Then I started feeling sick. I thought maybe I drank too much. He offered to walk me to the bathroom upstairs, since the one downstairs was occupied." She let her voice inflect the meaning of occupied. "Once we got upstairs, I started feeling really dizzy. He asked if I wanted to lie down for a bit, that he'd go and find my friends for me."

Rose felt the tears begin to spill over. Her hush voice choked her. She watched as John's hands spread on the table and he finally spoke. "Rose, if it's too hard, you don't have to continue."

Rose shook her head and swallowed. She had to get this out now. "I remember tripping as he led me to a room. It was dark, and I couldn't see much except the bed. My arms and legs felt like they were made of jelly. I don't remember much when I first blacked out. I came too once or twice, and I could feel someone. I tried to scream or yell, but he hit me in the face. When I woke up again, it was to a nurse sticking an IV in my arm." She sobbed covering her face with her hands.

Finally she had told someone the story. It burned in her throat, bile rose in her mouth. She couldn't look at John. She didn't want him to look at her. She shoved her chair back and ran to the bathroom. When she finished emptying her stomach, she stumbled to the sink and rinsed her mouth out. Rose raised her eyes to the mirror and wiped at the smudged mascara. She took a few deep breaths to release the clutching in her chest, and then she slowly opened the door.

He was still at their table. The waitress was dropping off a plate of toast and a fresh cup of tea. John passed the waitress some money, and Rose hurried over to protest. "I insist." John said gently before she could speak, waving the waitress away.

Rose settled into her chair, and looked down at her cup. She inhaled deeply, peppermint. "Thank you." She finally spoke.

"No, thank you." John's voice was sincere in its gentleness. "For trusting me with that."

Rose looked up at him. "You're the only person who hasn't poked and prodded at me for details." She admitted to him. As much as talking had relieved some of the pain in her gut. She really missed their companionable silence. "Can we, um, can we go back to our usual routine?"

John smiled that wide friendly grin. "Of course." He pulled a new book out of his bag. "I thought you might like this one." He slid it to her and opened his tablet case.

Rose looked down at the cover. It was blank, like all the books he brought, but the pages inside held stunning photos and drawings of things she had never seen. She squinted at the tiny caption under one. They were art dedicated to the makeup of cells, bacteria, and viruses. All taken or copied from the lens of a microscope. This was a take on science she could get into. Their familiar silence fell between them again, but this time she wasn't afraid to look up and catch him watching her.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Rose stood at the bottom of the courthouse steps. Her mum was just a few feet away talking to Harriet. It was ten thirty, but they were waiting for Harriet's legal assistant to arrive before they went inside. Rose fiddled with the long sleeve of her dress.

It was a simple, black with pink and yellow threads along the hems. Harriet had insisted on something ankle length and high collared, to give her a more conservative look. The collar itched at her neck, the powder pink lace trim was stiff and dry.

"Miss Tyler!" A strange man's voice called out. Rose looked to her left just in time to see a camera flash.

"Get away from her!" A sharp shout rang out from the other direction. The voice was familiar, even if the harsh tone was strange. John came dashing over and positioned himself in front of the camera man. "Show a little humanity you bloody prat."

Rose startled at the firmness in his voice. The cameraman scurried away to the crowd of press. John turned to her with an apologetic smile. "I guess nobody warned you about the media." Now his voice held that gentleness she had come to enjoy.

Rose shook her head. "I didn't even think. I haven't been watching the news or reading the papers." She scratched at her neck again. "Thank you for coming." They were closer than they had ever been without her crashing into him.

"I promised I'd be here, yeah?" John seemed to notice their shared space and stepped back. He was wearing the same brown pinstripe suit he had worn the second time they met. His specs were gone though, and Rose could finally see his eyes unobstructed.

"Who's this then?" Jackie asked hurrying over. "Leave her alone." She had the slap face on.

"Mum, stop." Rose put up a hand to keep her mother at bay. "This is Doctor Smith." She explained. "I asked him to come."

"Oh." Jackie looked properly abashed as Harriet's assistant arrived. "Looks a bit young to be a doctor." She huffed. "You're the shrink she's been going to talk to every night then?"

John's eyes flashed to Rose's, and he tried not to let his confusion overtake his face. Rose gave him a pleading look. He turned to Jackie with a smile. "Yes, I'm the one who's been talking with her."

Rose felt the panic and nausea that had been draining on her all night and morning ebb just a bit.

"Time to go in!" Harriet called, waving them over. Rose swallowed and nodded. They followed their lawyer inside and through security.

"Harriet." Rose asked as they waited for John to check in. "I really need him to sit on the front row with my mum."

"Of course." Harriet smiled, rubbing her back. "He's your distraction? Most people in your situation usually use a close friend or family member, but a doctor will be allowed too."

John made it to them as the elevator binged and opened. They stepped inside, and the doors closed shut. The tightness of the silver room had Rose feeling like she was being marched to her own execution. She felt the panic attack begin to take hold. "Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth." John whispered from above her head.

His coat sleeve brushed against her arm, and her hand reflexively grabbed onto his little finger. She breathed as instructed, and he made to pull his hand away. Rose tightened her grip, and he wriggled his hand a bit. His fingers laced through hers, and he gave a softest of squeezes in reassurance.

Jackie's hand held her other hand, and between the two of them, she felt her dizziness subside. The doors pinged open, and Harriet hurried them past a few more cameras to the court room doors. Rose released her mum's hand to cover her face, but John's fingers stayed securely in hers.

They made it into the empty court room, and Harriet ushered them to the front. Jackie slid into a spot just behind Rose's seat, but John stood stoically beside her. "I'll be right here, Rose." He whispered, pointing at the chair next to her mum's. "I promise I won't go anywhere."

Rose nodded and released his hand reluctantly. "John." She murmured, fiddling with her collar. "Could you, maybe, put on your glasses?"

John chuckled softly. "Let me take my contacts out first, and I will." He reached into his coat packet to pull out a contact case and a bottle of eyedrops.

"Come with me, Rose." Harriet placed her hand on her arm and steered her to her chair.

Rose settled into her seat behind the high table, as Harriet opened her briefcase and began taking out her papers. Rose heard John hiss behind her in irritation, and turned to see him dropping saline into his eye. Some dripped down his cheek, and Jackie passed him a handkerchief. He wiped his face and pocketed the bottle. Then he grinned at her and slid his glasses into place.

Rose felt her lips twitch up into a half smile and tried to convey her thanks without looking terrified. People were filing in through the doors now. Some were her classmates, and others she recognized from the party. Martha and Amy came in, being led by her gymnastics coach. The majority of familiar faces sat on Rose's side of the aisle. Only a handful of the people she vaguely recognized, mostly males, sat on the opposite side.

Amy and Martha gave her supportive smiles as they slid into the row behind her mum and John. She grimaced back and let her eyes flutter over to Jackie and John. John had draped an arm over her mother's shoulders and was patting her arm in a compassionate way. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but Rose was surprised to find herself pleased at the way he was tending to her tearful mum.

The seats were full and the doors closed. Rose felt Harriet touch her arm, and she turned back around. The defense lawyers were standing now, and a side door opened up. In came Jimmy, wearing a pale gray suit and a pair of handcuffs. Two officers escorted him to his chair. They secured his right leg to a ring in the floor and then uncuffed his wrists. He shook his lawyers hands, flashing them a smile. Then his malicious aqua eyes locked onto Rose. His smile turned into a twisted look of contempt and haughtiness.

Rose felt the panic set in. She jerked her face away, trying not to sink into her seat and hide. She knew she couldn't break down now, but she could feel it pressing her lungs. Warm fingers touched her shoulder, and she jumped. "Breathe, Rose. Just breathe. He can't touch you." John's voice was warm but firm. Rose looked back at him, but his eyes were narrowed in Jimmy's direction. The bastard sneered at John before settling into his chair. When he was sitting, John squeezed her shoulder delicately then pulled his hand back.

Rose turned back around as the jury came in, settling into a booth of benches along the wall. The officer at the front of the room, a tall strapping man with an American accent, called the room to order. The door to Rose's left opened, and a woman stepped in.

"All rise!" The man at the front called, and Rose stood shakily. "The Honorable Judge River Song will be presiding. Please turn off all mobile phones, pagers, and other electronic devices. There is to be no flash photography and no disruptions."

He turned to the curly haired woman who was standing behind the podium. "This is the case of Rose Tyler versus James Stone." He said passing her a folder. "All witnesses, the complainant, the defendant, and evidence are present. We are ready to proceed."

"Thank you Officer Harkness." Judge Song's voice was curt, but Rose was automatically drawn to its lyrical softness. The judge settled into her chair, and opened the bulging file before her.

"Please be seated." Officer Harkness addressed the crowd, then took his place next to the witness stand.

"Representatives, please approach the bench." Judge Song didn't look up from her file as Harriet and Jimmy's lawyer approached the stand.

Rose focused on their backs, trying to ignore the monster across the room. She strained to hear their hushed tones. They were discussing whether or not Jimmy had been adequately informed of what could occur if he did not take the plea deal. His lawyer's assured the Judge he had been. The green eyed woman dismissed the lawyers and let her gaze find Rose.

Rose nodded to her, and then Judge turned to Jimmy. He nodded as well. "Will the defendant please rise?" Judge Song asked. Rose watched Jimmy from the corner of his eye to stand. "James Edward Stone, you are here today being accused of the rape and assault of one Rose Marion Tyler. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your Honor." Jimmy replied in a confident voice. Then he settled back into his chair.


	7. Chapter 7

The trial started off simple enough. First witnesses were called to the stand. Her gymnastics coach, Gwen, went first. They asked her about Rose as a person. Coach Gwen was firm in her answers.

Rose was a dedicated athlete. She was always early for practice. She usually stayed late as well. She never missed a day unless she was severely sick. She was polite, friendly, and happy to help anyone who needed her. She maintained well above the required average for her scholarship, and as far as Gwen knew, she rarely partied. All of this was true, as usually Rose's Saturday's and Sundays were spent either training or competing.

The defense tried to make her stumble on her answers. Had Rose ever shown up to practice or competition smelling like alcohol? Had she ever been seen skipping classes with boys? Had she ever failed a urinalysis? It was an easy no to all of those answers.

The defense had the next witness to call. It was Amy's on again off again boyfriend, Rory. Judging by the annoyed look on his face. They were off again. Then came the personal questions.

"Mr. Williams." Saxon, Jimmy's lawyer, leaned on the witness stand. "Tell me, how many boyfriends has Miss Tyler had since you've known her."

Rory gave a look of disbelief. "Rose doesn't date. She had a nasty break up our freshman year, with my old dorm mate Mickey." Rory flicked his eyes over at Rose, and she saw kindness and sympathy in them.

"Have you ever seen Rose out at parties? Maybe flirting or wandering off with someone in the past?" Saxon tried to conceal his disappointment at Rory failing to smear her character.

"Parties aren't really Rose's thing." Rory shrugged. "I was surprised to see her there that night."

"How was Miss Tyler dressed that evening?" Saxon asked.

Rory seemed to squirm a bit at this question. Rose could remember. It had been a brand new black jean skirt and a pale blue halter top. Martha had gotten them for her as a thank you gift for helping design the pictures and layout her finals presentation for her advanced Anatomy and Physiology class.

"Objection, Your Honor." Harriet stood up. "My client's clothing had no influence on her ability to give or deny consent for sexual contact."

"Objection sustained." Judge River song agreed. She fixed Saxon with a stern look. "You may continue, Mr. Saxon."

"No further questions your honor." Saxon glared at Harriet, and Officer Harkness dismissed Rory. When he past by Rose, he gave her a silent apology.

Next came Amy and Martha. Both were questioned on how they found Rose that evening.

"I saw Rose talking with Jimmy." Amy informed the court. "They disappeared, and after a bit I got worried. I found Martha and we searched the house." Rose clenched her fist in her lap. Her fingers twisted the material of her dress. Amy and Martha had never gone into detail on how they found her. She wasn't sure how it would affect her.

"After searching around downstairs and in the yard. We saw Jimmy in the kitchen talking to one of his friends." Amy locked her eyes onto Jimmy, the evidence of disgust on her face. "He said he didn't know where she was. So we went upstairs. Rose was laying on a bed. Her lip and nose were bleeding." Her friend's eyes found hers. "Her breathing was really shallow and she wouldn't wake up. Martha called an ambulance, and they said she had alcohol poisoning. Martha and I knew that was impossible."

Saxon raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know that, Miss Pond?"

"Rose rarely drinks. It dehydrates her, and then she can't keep up with her training." Amy sneered at the blonde man in front of her. "She's usually the one keeping an eye on me."

The witnesses kept coming. Everyone spoke in favor of Rose's responsibility and dedication to school. Everyone except some of the guys from the party. They lied, informing the court that Rose had been all over Jimmy, and that they heard Rose invite him upstairs. All of their stories matched nearly word for word. They had been perfectly coached.

Rose felt rage rising inside her. Their audacity to lie so blatantly to the court made her want to scream at them.

"The prosecution calls James Stone to the stand." Harriet was up to bat.

Jimmy was led to the stand by the officers and sworn in.

"Tell me, Mr. Stone." Harriet began. "Did you know Miss Tyler?"

"Of course." Jimmy nodded. "I've seen her around campus before. My exgirlfriend was on the gymnastics team the first year. I saw Rose at competitions."

"Had you ever spoken to her before the party?"

"No." Jimmy replied. Rose couldn't look at him. Instead she focused on the Judge. She was watching the questioning with an expert eye.

"Did you know that Miss Tyler was consuming alcohol that night?" Harriet was staring him down.

"Yes, I fixed us both drinks." Rose was surprised he admitted it.

"At what point during the party did you decide to drug her?" Harriet raised an eyebrow.

"Objection your honor!" Saxon exclaimed.

"Your Honor, Mr. Stone admits to fixing my client a drink." She gestured at the paper in her hand. "Miss Tyler's blood work up from the hospital indicates she ingested ketamine at some point in the night."

"Sustained." Judge River sighed. "I'm sorry Mrs. Jones, but we have no witnesses and no physical evidence proving Mr. Stone is the one who actually drugged the drink."

Rose felt like someone kicked her in the gut. Of course he did. She had only had two drinks that night, and only one had been around Jimmy. She stared furiously at the papers in front of her, blinking back tears.

Harriet scowled and turned back to Jimmy. "Did Miss Tyler tell you she wanted to engage in sexual intercourse?"

He smiled. "She was hanging all over me. She even asked me to take her to my room. When we got there. She was practically ripping my pants off."

That was a lie a blatant lie. She could barely keep herself upright that night.

"That was not my question, Mr. Stone. Did Miss Tyler ever verbally give consent?"

Jimmy looked deadpan. "Yes." That was his answer. No explanation, no elaboration.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury." Harriet turned to the booth. "As evidence, my client was under the influence of both alcohol and ketamine. It was legally impossible for her to give consent. Take that as you will." She turned to Saxon. "Your witness Harry."

Saxon smiled and turned to the Judge. "I have no questions. Mrs. Jones was quite thorough."

Jimmy was escorted back to his seat. Saxon turned to Rose. "I call Rose Tyler to the stand."

Rose stood shakily and felt the room spin as she made her way to the stand. Officer Harkness swore her in, and as soon as he stepped away, Saxon took his spot. "Tell me Miss Tyler. The night of the party, did you approach my client or did he approach you?"

Rose swallowed. She couldn't see past Saxon's chest. Her mouth wouldn't work and her eyes stung. "I." She coughed and Judge Song handed her a bottle of water.

"Take your time." The curly haired woman said softly.

Rose sipped the water and looked back up. Saxon had finally moved, and her eyes found their target. John was still sitting in his spot, his arm still around her mum. He took a deep closed mouth breath, and Rose imitated him. "I approached him." She said softly, letting her breath exhale out.

"Why?" Saxon asked, one eyebrow arched.

"He, um." Rose fiddled with the cap of the bottle, and John gave her a short nod. "He was playing the guitar and singing. I wanted to tell him he had a wonderful voice." It was the truth. Jimmy had been playing snd singing, but Rose had seen those aquamarine eyes watching her. At that time, they were sparkling and inviting. Now they were dark and taunting.

"Did you and Mr. Stone step outside to be alone?" Saxon was trying to turn the tables now. "Maybe get him away from other girls?"

Rose felt offense rise in her cheeks. "No, he said he wanted to smoke, and asked me to come with him."

"I see." Saxon rubbed his chin. "Was this before or after you two got drinks?"

Rose tried to remember. She squeezed her eyes shut. Everyone watching her made her thoughts fuzzy. Someone coughed and Rose snapped her eyes open. John was pretending to cover his mouth with the handkerchief her mum had given him. "We got drinks on the way."

"How many drinks had you consumed that night?" Saxon's voice was a falsity of compassion, like he was trying to sympathize with her pain but failing.

"Before I went outside? Just one. I drank the other while Jimmy smoked." Rose's thoughts were clear as long as she could see those spectacled eyes and pinstripe suit.

"Did you tell Mr. Stone you wanted to sleep with him before or after he smoked?"

Rose shook her head vehemently. "I never said I wanted to have sex with him."

"You're sure?" Saxon asked.

"Positive. Everything is clear up until the point I felt like I was going to be sick." Rose felt her voice raise in frustration.

"No further questions, your Honor." Saxon grinned.

Harriet strode up to take his place. "Miss Tyler, I know this is hard, but do you have any memories of the attack?"

Rose looked at her lawyer. She knew she only had a few. Why was she asking something so stupid. Then she remembered the jury. "Just flashes. I remember Jimmy asking if I wanted to lie down. He took me to his room. Then everything was dark. I remember seeing someone." She faltered, but John caught her gaze. "Feeling someone. I tried to scream but they hit me. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital."

Harriet gave her a sympathetic but encouraging smile. "No further questions."

Rose felt like she was going to puke as she stumbled back to her seat. She saw John mouth. "You were perfect." Before she collapsed into her chair.

"I do believe that concludes all of the witnesses." Judge Song announced. "Is the prosecution ready to present the evidence to the court?"

"Yes, your Honor." Harriet confirmed. She turned on her laptop to show the pictures the officers had taken in the emergency room. Rose couldn't even remember them doing it.

Her face was swollen, her bottom lip busted, and she looked completely vacant. Rose struggled to keep her tiny breakfast down. "As you can see, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client was obviously brutally attacked. Does this look like someone who gave consent? I don't think so."

The next slide was a toxicology report, complete with an explanation. "As evidence by multiple tests run by the emergency room staff, my client had very little alcohol in her system, but she had high levels of ketamine. Ketamine is the most common drug used for what we call date rape." Harriet clicked to the next slide.

It was the semen DNA test, saliva DNA test, and the sample taken from Jimmy. "As you can see, both the semen and the saliva taken from Miss Tyler's sexual assault test and swabs of her face and neck are a ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent match to the sample taken from Mr. Stone." There was another click. It was the examination report from the hospital. "The doctor on duty that night confirms that the trauma found in the vaginal area is indicative of rape. There was bruising and tearing." She closed the slides. "I ask you to look at my client. Is this someone who willingly consented, or was she savagely attacked by a person with no respect for anyone?"

Rose felt bile rising in her throat again. All of the evidence was there, but she was terrified that he would walk free. Her mind barely registered the Judge declaring a recess while the jury deliberated. She clutched at her dress, trying to keep from puking all over herself.

"Miss Tyler." Officer Harkness was standing beside her. "You and your team are to wait over here in an office until the jury returns their verdict."

Rose blinked up at him. "What?" She heard his words but they didn't register.

"I've got her." John's hand came into view on the table. "Come on Rose. Let's go get you some peppermint tea, and maybe a bucket."

Rose looked over to him. She could see her mum talking with Harriet just behind him, whispering furiously. "Tea sounds lovely." She replied taking his hand. Her body didn't want to jerk away anymore. He was her anchor. She let him pull her to her feet, and Jackie hugged her.

"Come on sweetheart. I've got some crackers in my purse." Rose let her mum usher her into a side hallway to a comfortable looking room.

John was walking to Harriet's assistant and the young woman scurried off. He then settled down into a chair next to Rose, and he smiled at Jackie. "Um, here's your kerchief back." He passed it to Jackie who was patting Rose's hair. "Rose, I sent Harriet's assistant to get you a muffin and some peppermint tea. Is that alright?" He hadn't taken her hand again.

Rose nodded at him and rested her head on her mum's shoulder. She didn't want to think right now. She wanted to speed up time and hear her fate. Would she be able to see the monster locked away, or would she have to fear him finding her alone again?

Harriet was babbling on about something, saying that the evidence was sure to lock up the case, but Rose wasn't sure. She just nodded at the woman as her assistant returned with a styrofoam cup of tea and a muffin. John mixed the sugar and cream just the way Rose liked it, and passed it to her. As she was sipping, she noticed her mum glaring at him. "What mum?" Rose sighed.

"Nothing." Jackie shook her head. "Just, are you sure he's actually a doctor?" She murmured in Rose's ear. "He doesn't look at you like a doctor would."

"Seriously Mum?" Rose groaned. "He's just a kind doctor who has been helping me. Can we not do this now?" She gave her mother a withering look. "I can't handle your mouth right now."

Jackie's face took on regret, and the room lapsed into silence. Harriet had told them that usually on cases this laid out, juries only took two to three hours. So when Officer Harkness entered the room and said the jury had reached its conclusion, everyone jumped. It had been only an hour and fifteen minutes.

Rose grabbed John's hand as they stood, and he looked down at her in pleasant surprise. She didn't know why she kept taking his hand, when the night before she had barely been able to get closer than across a table. She just knew that it made her feel safe. She hoped she wasn't making him uncomfortable

They made it back to the courtroom just in time to see Jimmy being escorted to his spot and told to remain standing. Soon the jury filed in, followed by the judge.

"Have you reached your decisions?" Judge Song asked the lead juror.

The woman nodded and stood up. "On the charge of assault of Rose Tyler by contamination of her drink, we find the defendant Not guilty due to lack of viable evidence."

Rose felt her heart drop. This couldn't be happening.

"On the charge of Common assault, we find the defendant guilty."

Rose felt her eyes trail over to where Jimmy stood. His proud look was slowly failing. One guilty charge for beating her face.

"On the charge of rape of the first category, we find the defendant guilty." The woman took her seat.

Rose felt relief flood her as she whipped her eyes to the judge. She shook all over as she waited for River to pass his sentence.

"James Edward Stone. You have been found guilty by a jury of law." Judge Song leaned forward to look him in the eye. "I hereby sentence you to seventeen years for the charge of common assault and for thirty years on the charge of rape in the first category. These sentences are not to be served in collaboration. They will be served individually. They are not to take into consideration time served awaiting trial. You will have no opportunity for parole." She turned to the officers by the door. "Take the defendant into custody." 


	8. Chapter 8

Without the fear of seeing him there, Rose made the decision to return to uni to finish up her final two terms. Staying on campus was still a bit much for her, so she chose to make the commute three days a week instead.

Her routine had altered only to accommodate for her early classes. They still spent every evening sitting across from each other. Slowly they began to open up to each other. Rose learned that John had a half sister named Donna who was a professional tourist. She literally traveled for companies to review various vacation spots and resorts. Their parents had passed away in an accident when John was in his early teens, but their grandfather, Wilfred, had raised them.

Rose told him about how her father had died when she was an infant, and how her grandmother had passed away a few years before. Grandma Prentice had left her a small amount of money that she used to live while she was in college. She told John how she wanted to be an art teacher, and coach gymnastics when she graduated.

It was an easy going friendship, the kind that reminded Rose of primary school. There was no judgement, no fear of alienation. He had seen her at her absolute lowest, but he was slowly bringing out her best. So when she came home from the store one afternoon to find her mother waving a letter with her final grades of her final class, she couldn't wait to show him.

For the first time since they met eight months before, Rose beat John to Platform One. She couldn't contain the bubble of excitement as she waited, bouncing on the balls of her feet outside the shop door. She saw him before he saw her. "John!" She exclaimed, and his eyes lit up as they found her. That smile spread across his face, and he pulled the earphones from his ears.

"Rose! What are you doing out-" his question was cut off with a huff as Rose threw her arms around him in a hug. "Here?" He finished his question by catching her with his hands in the middle of her back. Rose felt him chuckle, a small vibration in his chest under her cheek. "So we've finally progressed to hugging?" His voice was light, and his breath tickled the hairs on top of her head.

Rose felt herself blush. She hadn't even thought about hugging him. Her body had just been unable to contain her excitement. She pulled back and looked up at him. She was surprised to see the tips of his ears and his high cheek bones flush a bit pink. "Sorry." Rose stepped back out of his arms. "I'm just so excited." She pulled the letter out of her pocket and waived it.

"Please, don't apologize." John grinned tucking his phone and earbuds in his bag. "I'm a very huggy person myself." His eyes followed the paper, and he reached for it with a laugh. "I can't read it, hold still!" Rose surrendered the final grade list to him and bounced from leg to leg. "That's fantastic! You're absolutely brilliant is what you are Rose Tyler!"

"I can't believe it!" Rose laughed. "I thought I was going to fail the calculus class." She grinned up at him, her tongue touching the corner of her mouth. "Thanks for tutoring me the last few weeks."

"How about," John wiggled his fingers at her hand, and Rose took it. "We celebrate by you letting me treat you to an actual dinner?"

Rose fidgeted, looking down at the plain zip up hoodie and jeans. "I'm not dressed for dinner." She replied. "Can we go get chips or something?"

"Whatever your little stomach desires." John grinned, pulling easily on her hand. "I know this great chippy around the corner, come on! My treat."

Rose allowed him to lead her down the block the direction he came. It was an odd sensation to walk with him hand in hand, and it took her a moment to figure out why. John was much closer to her than he normally allowed himself to be. Even when sitting next to her helping her with homework, he had always maintained a solid double hand length distance from her. Now Rose's shoulder was bumping his upper arm, and he was looking down at her, babbling away about some item his sister had mailed him.

Rose had learned, shortly after the trial, that he was a talker, but she didn't care. His voice was wonderful to listen to. He had stopped talking. She realized he had asked her a question. His smile faltered a bit, as his eyes took in how close she was a bit, and he stepped a few inches away. "Sorry, I was distracted." Rose blushed, but she didn't want him to move away. She pulled him back to his original spot and his face lit up like a toddler at Christmas. "What did you as me?"

"I asked how you took your chips." John pointed up at the menu that suddenly came into focus.

Rose realized that her musings had left her completely oblivious to the fact that they had stepped into the chippy. That was another new sensation. Normally she was hyperaware of everything going around on around her. Her brain told her she should be more observant, but she didn't pay it any mind. She knew without a single doubt that John would never hurt her or let her be hurt. "Crunchy with lots and lots of vinegar." Rose replied. It had been months since she had had chips.

The cashier informed them they'd have to take their food to the tables outside, as they were the last customers of the evening. Rose took her bag of chips and followed John out to the round red table top. They settled in, taking their normal across the table positions. "So." John began, chuckling as she popped a vinegar soaked chip into her mouth. "Now that you're out of school, what are you going to do next?"

Rose shrugged. "I have a couple of interviews as a teaching assistant." She was excited to have the possibility of a job, but she knew that it would cut into their late night meet ups.

"That's great!" John's face seemed permanently fixed into a smile, even as he ate. "That's really great. I got offered a position at St. Pauls School today, heading up the science department."

Rose felt the sadness at not being able to meet up with him at night flicker just a bit more. "So, guess that means no more late night coffee and tea then?" She bit her bottom lip, hoping he didn't think she sounded too dejected.

"We'll just have to adjust our meeting time." His reply was just as hesitant as she felt. "I mean, if you want." It was different to watch him look down instead, his fork pushing around the dwindling pile of chips, to see his smile turn down into a slight frown.

"I think we can do that." The smile that broke across his face at her reply made Rose flush with warmth. It lit up the night around them, and she found herself feeling sudden self conscious of his eyes on her. They were still their usual warm and kind gaze, but there was something more behind them. She felt herself blush all the way down her neck, and she lowered her gaze to her own food.

"Rose." She peeked up at him. He was fiddling with the watch on his left wrist. "I was wondering." He swallowed, looking just as timid as she felt. "Well I mean I was hoping." Now he was tugging at his ear.

Rose giggled silently. She had never seen him look so downright nervous. Usually he was cool and confident in his behaviors. She found it quite adorable, she realized. At this epiphany, Rose felt something change inside of her. It was a switch that had been toggling back and forth for weeks suddenly flipped into place. She was attracted to him, but could he be feeling the same way? She didn't see how he could. As much as she was healing inside, she still felt like damaged goods. The pain at that line of thinking caused her throat to tighten in that all too familiar manner, and she looked down at her hands.

"I was hoping I could walk you home tonight." John finally managed to get it out. Rose looked back up at him slowly, hesitant at what he meant. He probably just meant as a friend, and he was probably just nervous about not wanting to trigger her insecurities.

"I'd like that very much." She admitted to both him and herself. His face flooded with relief, and his warm gentle smile returned.

Suddenly he literally hit himself in the forehead. "I almost forgot." He began to dig in his bag. "I got you a graduation present." He pulled out a wrapped box and handed it to her.

Rose took it and shook her head. "John, really. You didn't have to do this." She ran her finger over the yellow bow and shiny pink paper.

John smiled sheepishly. "I know, but I saw it and I thought you'd like it." He scratched the back of his neck as he blushed in the cutest way she had ever seen.

Rose wrapped the box and opened it up. Inside was a wooden jewelry box, and the lid was painted like a sunrise over the beach. The inside was lined with royal blue velvet and had a three rows for rings and a small area for loose jewelry. She felt different kinds of tears blink into her eyes. She closed the lid and pressed it to her chest. "Oh, John, I love it."

"Really?" John let out the breath he had been holding. "I remember how you said your mum used to take you to the beach for your birthday every year."

"I told you that?" Rose couldn't remember the conversation. It was probably something that she had mentioned in passing, but the fact that he had held onto that tidbit made her feel special. "Could you hold this until we get back to my flat?" She handed him the box back.

"Of course." He tucked it back into his bag, and smiled at her. "Since we both seem to be finished. What would you like to do?" He checked his watch. "It's only ten thirty."

"We could just walk." Rose suggested. "I mean, if you want." She pushed herself to her feet. He had already snagged her trash up and tossed it into a bin nearby.

John extended his hand, and Rose smiled and slid her fingers into his. They walked like that, chatting easily for a while. He let Rose pick their direction, but always kept them in areas where there were some crowds of people.

This was a different feeling of conversation. The underlying strain that had always been so present in Rose's voice was all but gone, and Rose noticed that John's glances down at her were different. They lingered longer on her eyes and lips when she spoke. His fingers occasionally gave her hand a happy little squeeze when she giggled or laughed at something he said.

She wasn't sure how long they had wandered, just telling stories and talking about their favorite things, but she recognized the cross street that led to her flat. She stopped him on the corner. "What time is it?" Rose asked, bringing her free hand up to tug on his sleeve.

John lifted his watch to his face. "Just after midnight. Do you need to head home?" His smile faded just a bit.

"Not really." She admitted, and realized her hand was still resting on his sleeve. She felt a wave of uncertainty. She had been so lost in the ease of his presence and voice, she overstepped the careful barriers they had constructed. She pulled her hand away and stuffed it into her pocket. "But my building's just around the corner."

"Show me, please." John smiled squeezing her fingers gently.

Rose felt a bit embarrassed. She knew from their conversations that he had grown up in a well to do area, and even after his parents' deaths, they had still been financially secure. She had always intentionally avoided where she lived, but she couldn't know. The salon where her mom worked was just across the street, the windows dark. "If you want." That seemed to be their fall back line tonight.

She walked forward, leading him up the sidewalk and around a corner until the building came into view. "This it?" His voice wasn't condescending, but it was a bit surprised. If he disliked it, he didn't say anything.

"Yeah." Rose admitted. "We live on the third floor on the other side." She led him around the building to the glass door. "Um, I'm not really ready to go home yet." She toed at a rock with her shoe.

"What would you like to do then?" He wasn't letting go of her hand, and she was fine with that.

"Let's go up to the roof." The idea hit her out of nowhere. She hadn't been up there in months. "I like to sit and look at the city."

"Lead the way." John smiled, pulling the door open. She led him up the five flights of stairs to the roof, and hopped up on her favorite ledge. He joined her.

Their normal silence fell between them again, and they looked out over the lights of the city. It wasn't long before the wind had Rose shivering, despite the thin zip up jacket she wore. She jumped when she felt something heavy and warm drape over her shoulders.

John had shed his own blazer and was wrapping it around her. She looked up at him as his hands froze against her shoulders. "Sorry, you looked cold." He made to pull his jacket away, but Rose grabbed it and pulled it around her.

"Thank you." She smiled up at him. The jacket smelled nice, like his cologne and laundry soap and books. "I was cold."

His hands slid down to his lap and he blushed a bit in the dark. "Rose?"

"Yeah?" She asked tucking to coat around her tighter.

"Would you like to maybe go see a movie or something some time?" He was looking at her from the corner of his eye, picking at a loose thread on his jumper sleeve.

Rose felt her own cheeks flush again. He probably just meant as friends, but she felt her stomach flutter in excitement. Tonight was all about breaking boundaries, so why not go ahead and ask. "You mean, like a date?" She bit down on her bottom lip as soon as she said it.

"Well, yeah." John looked over at her now, tugging at his ear. "I mean, only if you want. It's totally up to you. If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to."

"I would like that." Rose replied, wanting to ask why. Why her? What did he want to date her for? She wasn't anything special? But she fought the words back into her throat.

"Brilliant." John grinned at her broadly. His hand reached over to take hers, but Rose felt bold. She closed the gap between their sides, and rested her head on his shoulder. When he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, her body didn't jerk away.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Where are you off to tonight so early?" Jackie's voice behind her made Rose spin around. "You're wearing makeup!" Her mother looked properly shocked. "Rose Tyler, do you have a date?"

Rose blushed and pulled at the long sleeve blouse she had dug out of the back of her closet. It was the tightest fitting thing she had worn in some time, but it flowed out a bit around the waistband of the black pinstripe dress slacks she work. She had chosen a pair of pumps with a very short heel, and had used a curling iron on her hair. "Yeah." She blushed, pushing a wave of blonde out of her eyes. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely stunning, of course." Jackie came into the room and fussed with her hair. "Who are going out with?"

"John." Rose felt her cheeks flush. "Oh, Mum, I don't know if I can do this." She was so nervous. She liked John, she really did. However she was terrified to mess it up somehow. He had been such a steadfast friend, and she didn't want to jeopardize that.

"Rose." Her mum lifted her chin up. "You're a strong, beautiful, brave woman. Doctor Smith would be blind not to see it." She kissed her forehead just as he knocked. "You didn't say he was coming here! I would have straightened up a bit!"

Jackie hustled out of the room to the door. Rose took one last look in the mirror. She was uncertain of the outfit, it had been so long since she had bothered to dress up. She swallowed the urge to lock the door and hide, and forced herself out into the hallway. John was standing outside the door, looking just as shy as she felt. His eyes went wide behind his glasses as she stepped around her mum.

"Rose." His voice was soft, and he looked like he was biting back something else he wanted to say. Rose saw his eyes flicker over her body just once before he met her eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry I'm early."

"Only by a few minutes." Rose smiled. "Are you ready to go?" She kissed her mum on the cheek and stepped out into the breezeway.

"Do you mind if I drive?" John asked wiggling his fingers out to her. He always let her take that first step. "I got us reservations at this little Italian restaurant, and it's a bit of a drive across the city."

Rose took his hand and nodded. "That'd be nice." She felt her heart racing. "You didn't have to pick somewhere fancy, I don't mind somewhere simple." They walked down the stairs to the parking area out front.

There was a black sedan she didn't recognize parked in a nearby spot. The lights blinked as John pulled out the keys. He opened the door and let Rose slide in. He walked around the front and slid behind the wheel. Soon they were in the late evening traffic. He kept opening his mouth, glancing over at her, and then shutting it.

Rose shook her head giggling. Just being around him made her feel at ease. "Cat got your tongue?" She teased, giving him a tongue touched smile.

John's ears turned pink and he drummed her fingers on the wheel. "I just wanted to tell you that you look lovely." He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced over again. "But, You don't usually take compliments well."

Rose blushed and look down at her hands in her lap. It was true. Any time he had tried to compliment her, it tended to make her retreat into silence. "Thank you." She replied, and his smile made those two words worth it. "You look very handsome yourself." And he did. He had forgone his usual pinstripes or jeans, for a pair of black slacks, a deep red oxford, and had forgone a tie.

"Why thank you." He chuckled.

  
They made small talk on the drive. Rose told him how she had a second interview for one of the teacher assistant jobs she had applied for. He told her that his sister was coming into town next week and their grandfather was coming up from the coast to visit.

When they got to the restaurant, their table was intimate and tucked in a corner. They declined the wine and he had to read the menu for her, as she only knew a handful of words on Italian. Her plate arrived, a lovely chicken puttanesca, and he was enjoying just a classic plate of spaghetti.

Sometime during their dinner conversation, Rose became aware of their hands clasped on the tabletop. Instead of pulling away, like John always did when he saw her looking, he ran his thumb over her knuckles. "That alright?" He murmured. Not for the first time, Rose was stunned at his constant attempts at making sure she was okay with his touch.

"Yes, actually." She smiled back and mimicked his gesture. It felt perfect, like her hand was made to fit into his.

"I know I already said it." John set his fork down. "But you really are absolutely stunning. I mean, you always look beautiful, but there's something different about you tonight."

"Makeup probably." Rose chuckled pushing her plate a bit to the side.

"I hadn't even noticed you were wearing any." He teased. "But that's not it, something else, I can't quite figure it out."

"Maybe you need to get your prescriptions checked." Rose pointed with her free hand to his glasses. His bark of laughter caused her to burst into a fit of giggles.

John's eyes flicked down to his watch. "Bugger, we missed the beginning of the movie."

"That's alright, we can find something else to do." Rose finally broke their contact when the waiter appeared with the bill. She knew offering to split it would be an insult, so she kept herself occupied as he paid by finishing her water.

"How about a walk." John asked, extending his hand to help her to her feet. "There's always something to do down this way."

Rose realized, as he led her out into the warm evening, that he knew exactly the way. "You live around here, don't you?"

"Few blocks over." John mused, as they strolled along the brightly lit road. It was still pretty early, only eight, and many of the shop windows were still lit.

Rose realized that this was a very, very posh area, when they passed by no less than three women wearing Louboutin heels. One man, in a very well tailored suit waved John from across the street and he waved back. "John." She felt very self conscious as she pulled him to a stop outside of a sleek looking martini bar.

"Yes, Rose?" He looked down, and Rose knew he say the insecurity in her eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked his eyes darting around to try to locate the source of her sudden change in mood.

"I don't fit in here." She murmured, dropping his hand and smoothing her shirt. "What are you doing with a girl like me?"

"What do you mean?" John asked looking down at his suddenly empty hand. "I love spending time with you."

"But you're rich." Rose slapped a hand over her mouth as her tone came out accusing.

"My parents were." John shook his head at her outburst. "My dad was a very successful investor and my mum was a lawyer. Grandad just continued with my dad's investments until Donna and I were adults." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't really bother with it. I always earn my own money."

Rose felt her face flush in embarrassment, and she turned her back to him. She wasn't meant to be in an area like this. She was just some broken chav from the estates, and if she was lucky, she'd meet a guy with a managerial job at a shop. John could do so much better. "Please take me home."

"Rose." His voice was soft as he stepped around her. "Sweetheart, please look at me." The compassion in his voice brought her eyes up to his. "If you want to go home, I'll take you, but I really want you to stay." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a tissue. Instead of handing it to her, he delicately dabbed her cheek where a few tears had leaked free. "Please, there's this jazz place down the street, and I really wanted to take you." He gave her a broken hearted pleading look. "Maybe on the walk you can tell me what has you so upset."

Rose couldn't resist the puppy eyes he was giving her. She sniffled and nodded. He smiled gently at her and brushed her cheek once more. "It's stupid." She murmured, as her hand found his.

"I don't think anything that bothers you is stupid." John squeezed her fingers softly. "Come on, you know you can trust me."

"I don't belong in a neighborhood like this." Rose finally sighed. "I'm just a girl from the estates. This area is way out of my league."

John looked down at her bringing them to a stop. "That's absurd." He shook his head at her. "That is absolutely absurd. You're an intelligent, talented, beautiful, and loving woman. You belong exactly anywhere you want to be." Then suddenly he seemed nervous at his outburst. "You do want to be here with me, don't you?"

Rose swallowed and nodded. She enjoyed every minute they spent together. "I do." She squeezed his hand tightly. "You make me feel safe and happy. I just didn't expect." She waved her hand at the people gathered around an outdoor sitting area that led into the Vortex Jazz Club.

"I'm still the man you met on a random chat app." John smiled reassuringly at her. "The one you nearly kicked in the face when he tried to tend to your leg, the man who sat on a roof with you and watched the city with." He took both her hands and raised him to his lips, kissing each one gently. "You trust me, don't you?"

Rose felt her cheeks flush at the press of his lips on her knuckles. "Absolutely." She whispered, feeling those deep rooted insecurities being swept aside.

"Then come inside and dance with me." John released one of her hands and led her inside. She followed behind him, a tattered moth to his flame.

It was dim inside, and the band was playing some slow, soul jerking song. John led her out on the dance floor, and extended his other arm for her to step into his space.

Rose had said she trusted him explicitly. It was time to put her money where her mouth was. She stepped into his embrace, resting a hand on his arm as he pulled her in close. He was a terrific dancer, taking the lead as he guided her in the slow and steady rhythm to the music.

He was smiling down at her, like he was the lucky winner instead of her. It was the closest they had been since her spontaneous hug a few days before. This time, she didn't want to pull away. She didn't want to hide. She wanted him to hold her tighter, to hug those still broken pieces back together. "Thank you." She said for what felt like the millionth time.

"For what?" He hummed and opened his half clenched fingers so they splayed across her back.

"For just being you." Rose felt that soft touch finally wash away the last bit of cold that had been slumbering in her veins. She knew she'd have to initiate what she wanted. He'd never take the first move, out of respect for her. So, she tilted her head up just enough for him to take the hint.

"Are you sure?" That was always what he asked, and she knew he always would. That was fine by her.

Rose gave him that tongue touched smile she knew he enjoyed. "I'm always sure when it comes to you." She replied.

John breathed a sigh of contentment and pressed his lips delicately to hers. Rose was home. 


End file.
